Domestic Violence and Divorce
Guidance for survivors of domestic violence navigating divorce. Learn about safety planning, protective orders, how abuse affects custody and support decisions, and resources available to help you through the process safely.
What You'll Learn
- ✓Develop a safety plan for leaving an abusive relationship
- ✓Understand how to obtain a protective order
- ✓Know how domestic violence affects custody and support decisions
- ✓Identify resources and support services available to survivors
1. Safety Planning
Leaving an abusive relationship requires careful planning, as the period of separation is often the most dangerous time for survivors. A safety plan includes identifying safe places to go, keeping important documents in a secure location outside the home, setting aside emergency money, memorizing important phone numbers, and having a packed bag ready. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) provides confidential safety planning assistance 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Key Points
- •The period of separation is statistically the most dangerous time for domestic violence victims
- •Keep copies of important documents and emergency money in a safe location outside the home
- •Develop a code word system with trusted friends or family to signal when you need help
- •The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) is available 24/7 for confidential support
2. Protective Orders
Protective orders (also called restraining orders or orders of protection) are court orders that prohibit the abuser from contacting, approaching, or harassing the victim. There are typically two types: temporary or emergency orders (granted quickly, often the same day) and permanent orders (granted after a hearing where both parties can present evidence). Violations are criminal offenses that can result in arrest. Protective orders can include provisions for temporary custody, exclusive use of the home, and stay-away distances.
Key Points
- •Emergency protective orders can often be obtained the same day you apply
- •Permanent protective orders are granted after a hearing and can last one to several years
- •Violations of protective orders are criminal offenses punishable by arrest
- •Orders can include provisions for custody, housing, and financial support
3. Impact on Custody and Support
Domestic violence is a significant factor in custody decisions. Most states have a presumption against awarding custody to a parent who has committed domestic violence. Courts may order supervised visitation, require the abusive parent to complete treatment programs, and restrict overnight visits. The presence of domestic violence can also affect spousal support, with some states authorizing higher support awards to abuse survivors. Children who witness domestic violence may be considered victims themselves under the law.
Key Points
- •Most states presume that custody should not be awarded to a domestic violence perpetrator
- •Courts may order supervised visitation and treatment programs for abusive parents
- •Witnessing domestic violence can constitute child abuse under many state laws
- •Abuse history can increase spousal support awards in some jurisdictions
4. Resources and Legal Protections
Numerous resources exist for domestic violence survivors. Legal aid organizations often prioritize domestic violence cases. Many attorneys handle abuse-related divorces pro bono. Shelters provide safe housing, counseling, and legal advocacy. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) provides federal protections including immigration relief for abused spouses. State-specific programs may offer assistance with housing, childcare, job training, and financial support during the transition.
Key Points
- •Legal aid organizations and pro bono attorneys often prioritize domestic violence cases
- •VAWA provides immigration protections for abused spouses, including those married to U.S. citizens
- •Domestic violence shelters offer temporary housing, counseling, and legal advocacy
- •Many states have address confidentiality programs to protect survivors' locations
Key Takeaways
- ★The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) provides free, confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
- ★Approximately 75 percent of domestic violence homicides occur after the victim leaves or attempts to leave the relationship.
- ★All 50 states have laws allowing victims to obtain protective orders, though the specific process and terminology vary.
- ★The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) allows abused immigrant spouses to self-petition for legal immigration status.
- ★Many states have specific provisions requiring judges to consider domestic violence as a primary factor in custody determinations.
Common Questions
1. Why is safety planning important before leaving an abusive relationship?
2. How does domestic violence affect custody decisions?
3. What protections does VAWA provide for immigrant spouses?
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Common questions about this topic
Many resources are available for survivors who cannot afford legal representation. Legal aid organizations often prioritize domestic violence cases. Many bar associations have pro bono programs. Domestic violence shelters typically have legal advocates who can help with protective orders and connect you with free legal services. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you find local resources.
Yes. Many states have address confidentiality programs that provide a substitute address for survivors of domestic violence. You can use this substitute address on court filings, and your actual location is kept confidential. Discuss this with your attorney or a domestic violence advocate before filing.
Document everything safely: photos of injuries, screenshots of threatening messages, police reports, medical records, witness statements, and a personal journal of incidents with dates and details. Store evidence securely outside the home or in a hidden cloud account. Your safety is the top priority, so only gather evidence when it is safe to do so.